[00:00:09] Welcome back to the stimulating stuff podcast. I'm your host, Rich Vogel, and today I am answering your questions. A lot of you submitted questions to me after my last episode, which focused on public speaking, and I'm going to get to them today.
[00:00:23] I also want to acknowledge all the people who reached out to me, either verbally or in writing, to share their experiences, horrible experiences, about what it was like to deal with a narcissist and the impact that person or those people had on them. If you'll recall from a previous episode, I addressed narcissism and the difference between narcissism as a personality type and narcissistic personality disorder, which is a clinical diagnosis. Anyway, so a lot of you wrote to me about public speaking after my last episode, and so I'm going to read through some questions that people sent me, and we will get you some answers. So, question number one, you talk about being nervous when you speak, but I've seen you speak a bunch of times, and you never seem nervous. Are you really that good at hiding it? What are your secrets?
[00:01:16] All right, well, let me say this. When I was giving that talk, I had to put myself in the perspective of somebody who's a new person, public speaker. I actually don't feel that level of nervousness anymore, but I certainly used to. When I give talks today, I generally do get a little bit of an elevated heart rate, and I'm easily able to defeat that by just taking a couple of breaths. It's not something that really bothers me now or that I think about, but there was a time when it was. The advice that I can give you is, first of all, prepare and practice. The more you practice your talk, the more familiar you are with the information, the more comfortable you're going to be, and that is going to relieve some of those nerves that you feel. The second thing I'll say is definitely review the technology and the layout before you go into a talk. So at the last conference that I was at at Afsette, I actually went into the room when there was nobody in there. And then I talked to the sound guy, and I made sure that the microphone was working. I was going to use a lapel microphone so I could walk around the stage, and I was able to trial that. And I went up on stage, and I got a feel for the layout, for the way the room was laid out and where I would want to look, and I just felt much more comfortable understanding my environment. Speaking of technology, you know, there's a lot of things that can go wrong during a talk. So the more you prepare in advance, even in the hours leading up to your talk, the better you're going to be. I usually like to load my slides on the laptop, make sure that everything works well. So I'll transition between the slides, make sure they appear the way they're supposed to appear on the screen. I always show up with a number of different connectors because I don't know, one, if I'm going to be able to use my laptop, and two, if whatever device I have that I want to connect to their laptop, whether that's a laser pointer or a usb drive or a slide advancer, whatever it is, I want to make sure it connects and it works. So I'll do that in advance. I would say a few other things the morning of if you're an exerciser, get some exercise. Do some breathing exercises in the moments leading up to the talk. Visualize success. I always say this, you want to think about, put yourself in the position of being up there on stage. Think about that. Think about the audience being an engaged audience. Think about delivering a talk with flawless execution, and think about leaving the stage with a sense of accomplishment. Do that in advance of your talk, visualize that success, and it'll make you more confident.
[00:04:04] Stay on script is another thing that I can think of. A lot of times you prepare a talk and in the middle of it, you decide to go on a tangent and you actually throw yourself off balance. So come up with a script. You don't have to write it out word for word, but know what you want to say and then stick to that. And then finally, people will sometimes try to interrupt your talk. They may jump in, they may raise a hand, they may stand up and talk over you, politely defer those questions and comments to the end of your talk. So you could say something like, thank you for that important question. I'd love to answer it. I'm going to take all questions at the end of my talk. Thank you. And then just keep talking. So there's lots of ways that you can overcome nervousness. I've done it through a combination of repetition and minor breathing exercises. But for me, it's just, it's just been repetition. At this point, I do get a little bit of nervousness, but I, I get over it. All right, next question.
[00:05:06] How do you get into public speaking? So how do you get started in public speaking? Well, if you're, if you're in college and you're listening to this, I would say if this is something that's really important, to you, I would recommend going into a major like communications, where you can formally study public speaking. But beyond that, many of us get involved in public speaking after we've graduated from college. So. So I'm just going to put myself back in a position that I was in when I started in the field that I'm in now, which is I was at a conference and I was kind of sitting back observing, getting to know who in the audience and who among the speakers were influential people. And then once I identified somebody, I went up to them and I introduced myself and I said, how do I get up there? How do I get on stage? I'd love to give a talk at one of the future conferences. And that person introduced me to a few people, and the next year I gave three talks. So I would say, just get out of your shell a little bit. Introduce yourself, express your interest, and then follow up with that person via email, for example, and say, hey, this is Rich Vogel. We met at the conference. It was really nice to meet you. I just wanted to remind you I'm really interested in public speaking. I would love to speak at next year's conference. Can you put me in touch with the program chair so I can connect with them directly? I would also say once you start public speaking, start with low stakes and work your way up. You don't need to give a talk to 2000 people where your career is on the line as your first talk. Hopefully you don't have to start small. Start with friends, start with coworkers. Give a talk in front of five or ten people, and then work your way up from there. Speaking of which, a few minutes ago I was talking about nervousness. I would say that if I do get nervous now, it's mostly when it's a really high risk or high stakes talk. If something really important is on the line, I'll be a bit more nervous. If not, I'll be less nervous.
[00:07:12] I guess one final thing that I can think of in terms of public speaking and how you can get used to it is everybody's on social media these days and lots of people are creating videos. And you may be doing it just from your phone, but it's really not a whole lot different to stand in front of people. I mean, what's the difference between recording a video on your phone that thousands of people are going to watch and actually standing in front of a couple of dozen people and giving a talk? I would say the stakes are higher with the former than the latter. So those are ways that I can think of to get involved in public speaking. If you're in college, start by thinking about majoring in communications and finding a faculty member who is actually an expert in communications and public speaking. Once you're out in the field, network, connect with people, ask to speak. Somebody will help you to find a spot on a program. And once you do start speaking, start with low stakes and work your way up. You might start with family and friends. I hear PowerPoint parties are a thing with the kids these days. That's amazing to me. So start with family, friends, coworkers, small groups, work your way up. The largest group I ever spoke to was almost 3000 people. I actually wasn't very nervous doing that. The larger the group is, it turns out, the more it's just noise. So start small, work your way up. Okay, the next question is, how do I make money speaking?
[00:08:41] Well, I can tell you that conferences pay very little, and I'm not knocking the conferences. I appreciate all of the honoraria that I've gotten over the years, but it's not a moneymaker. I mean it. You know, if you put, let's say you put 10 hours into your talk and you get paid $100, you just made $10 an hour, right? So, yeah, definitely not a money maker. But I would say if you get known from conferences, from speaking a lot, then you can get paid as a consultant to speak with companies or to provide education. So you could be doing educational consulting, leadership training, any of those things. But getting noticed as a speaker will bring more money. Now, you could get on a speaking circuit, and some of those are pay to play. And that's, that's a good way to get started if you really want to make a lot of money and, and be known internationally, regardless of your field as a public speaker, there are plenty of forums that you can go to, and you pay a lot of money, and they'll give you a spot to speak, and you can get known that way. And the final way that I can think of is to write a best selling book and go on tour. All right, the next question is, can you share some thoughts about the power of storytelling in public speaking?
[00:10:04] Yes. I'm gonna give you a really old example. So, back in high school, I wanted to run for student council, and student council at my school, probably like other schools, was really a popularity contest, and I wasn't popular enough to be president. I hated taking notes, so I didn't want to be secretary, and so I decided to run for treasurer. Now, here's the thing. I didn't know anything about managing money. I was like 16 years old and no one knew this and probably nobody cared. But what people did care about was a good story, and that's exactly what I gave them. So I was trying to figure out what am I going to tell them, what story am I going to tell when I give my speech before the vote to determine who becomes treasurer? And I was sitting there in my room and I found a penny, and it was a 1952 penny. Now, this was in the nineties, so it wasn't that old of a penny at the time. But I started thinking, well, that's my father's birth year. And from there evolved a story. So I went and found two other pennies. I found one from 1928, which was my grandfather's birth year, and I found one from 1975, which was my birth year. And then I crafted this story. And the story was that when I was five years old, my father sat me down and gave me three pennies, penny from the year of his father's birth, a penny from the year of his birth and a penny from the year of my birth. And then I said, I've had these three pennies in my possession for the past eleven years, since I was five years old. And if I can keep track of three pennies for eleven years, I can keep track of your money.
[00:11:57] And that's all it took, just a little story like that to win treasurer. And the next year or two years later, when I graduated from high school, I gave the commencement speech at my high school graduation. Not nearly because I had the best grades, but because I wrote the best speech. People love storytelling. It's so powerful. In public speaking, a story should have a beginning, a middle and an end. Now, I didn't tell you the story the way that I told it in front of the class. I don't even know what I told them, it was so long ago. But I did tell the three penny story. And I think if you tell a very short story that has a beginning and middle and an end, and it connects with the information that you're presenting in your talk, then you will capture an audience's attention. It's very powerful.
[00:12:48] Alright, the next question.
[00:12:50] It sounded like you were referring to slides. How do I get a copy? Okay, so this person listened to the podcast. So the podcast is actually in video form on YouTube. This person probably listened on Spotify or Apple, but you can see the slides on the YouTube video if you go there.
[00:13:10] Next question. You mentioned drawbacks of not public speaking. Can you elaborate? Yes. So this was one of the points that I was making around the time when I said about 77% of the population experiences some fear or anxiety around public speaking. I said, despite that, there are significant drawbacks to not public speaking. And here's what I meant by that. I put it into three categories. The first category is career limitations. So when you have a fear of public speaking and when you avoid it, you are less likely to seek a promotion and you are more likely to avoid leadership roles, because both of those things often require some level of public speaking. And for that reason, there's an income disparity between people who engage in public speaking and those who don't. So you'll limit your career by not public speaking.
[00:14:13] Second category is barriers to personal growth. By avoiding public speaking, you have decreased self confidence, and you basically double down on that. You have a hesitation to share ideas, in some cases, limited self expression, and all three of those impacts or can impact your mental health negatively.
[00:14:37] And then the third category was what I called social implications. So public speaking gives you an opportunity to network with people, and those are opportunities that get missed. When you don't engage in public speaking, you also have less community engagement. So think about a local town hall or even a homeowners association. You might not do this now, depending on your living situation, but those may be opportunities for you to meet people in your community. And speaking in front of those boards may give you an opportunity to express yourself. But missing out on that networking, missing out on the community engagement has been shown to have some connection to a difficulty in forming relationships later in life.
[00:15:25] Those are the three drawbacks, career limitations, personal growth barriers, and negative social implications.
[00:15:33] Next question.
[00:15:35] You mentioned the benefits of public speaking, but you didn't really go through them. Can you provide more information?
[00:15:43] Yes. Always ask and you shall receive. So I will tell you what. I put all my handouts in those slides and I wrote them out for everybody purposefully. So I had ten benefits that I listed. The first one was improved communication skills. Public speaking helps enhance your ability to articulate thoughts clearly and effectively, benefiting all areas of communication. The second one was increase confidence. Regularly speaking in front of groups can boost self confidence and help overcome the fear of public speaking. Remember when I told you a few minutes ago that I used to have this overwhelming fear? It didn't stop me from speaking, but my heart was beating out of my chest. And this is years ago. And through that reputation, I actually got over those fears. Okay. The third is career advancement. This is fairly similar to what I just said a few minutes ago, but strong public speaking skills can lead to career opportunities, promotions and increased visibility in your field. Fourth, enhanced critical thinking. Preparing and delivering speeches does require organizing thoughts logically and thinking on your feet, and this can definitely improve your critical thinking skills. Better persuasion skills. Public speaking often involves convincing or persuading an audience, which can sharpen your persuasive abilities in various contexts. The 6th one, networking opportunities. Speaking at events and conferences provides opportunities to meet and connect with other professionals, expanding your network. Seven, leadership development. Effective public speaking is a key component of leadership, helping you to inspire and motivate others.
[00:17:27] Increase knowledge and research skills. Preparing for speeches often involves researching topics in depth. Expanding your knowledge base. It's so true. Nine, personal satisfaction. Successfully delivering a speech can bring a sense of accomplishment and personal satisfaction. And ten, influence and impact. Public speaking allows you to share your ideas and influence others, potentially making a significant impact on your audience and community. So there it is. There's the ten benefits of public speaking that I had in my handouts. Okay, the final question that came through was you mentioned a bunch of books. Can you tell me what they are? Books about public speaking? Well, I can do this two ways. First way, and the easiest way, is to tell you to go to YouTube and watch a video because there's an image there that has all of the different books, but I'll just tell them to you really quickly. So Aristotle's Art of Rhetoric... Win Every Argument - The Art of Debating, Persuading and Public Speaking by Hassan... A book called Persuasion by Carter... A book called The Psychology of Persuasion by Cialdini... How to Develop Self Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking, by Dale Carnegie... Talk Like TED by Gallo... Speak With No Fear by Acker... Harvard Business Review's 10 Must Reads on Public Speaking and Presenting... and Harvard Business Review's Guide to Persuasive Presentations.
[00:19:14] I will say that probably in my mind, and this, this is just me, the worst book among them is probably Talk Like TED. It provides high level information and it tells you some stories, but I didn't really get much benefit out of it. If you want to learn about the about persuasion, about how to persuade people, I would say the two books that I mention on persuasion, one by Carter and one by Cialdini, and certainly the seminal text on that is Aristotle's Art of Rhetoric, all absolutely fantastic. I didn't really think the book Speak With No Fear was great because it didn't resonate with me today. But I think it would be a fantastic read for somebody who is just trying to overcome their fear. So those are the questions that came through. You can go to YouTube to find photos of those books, and they're really easy to find, all of them on Amazon except Harvard business reviews, those you have to buy from the HBR website, I believe. Now, I'm going to end with an announcement. So my announcement is this. Beginning in September, I am going to choose a topic each month, and I am going to do a daily social media post that is a tip related to that topic. For example. And here's my blowing the surprise moment. But September's topic is actually going to be public speaking. And each day on all of my social media channels, I'm going to post a tip about public speaking. And then a new topic in October, a new topic in November. And we're going to keep doing this. So I am on Instagram, Threads, Facebook, LinkedIn, and of course, you know my website, stimulatingstuff.com. You can find lots of stuff there, including links to this podcast on Apple, Amazon, Spotify, Google Play, YouTube. It's all there. There's even a blog. Check it out. Okay, that's it for today. Thank you so much for listening. Please continue sending me your questions and thoughts to
[email protected]. I always love hearing from you. Hit me up on socials. Check out those monthly tips beginning September 1, 2024. I'm Rich Vogel, and that was stimulating stuff.
